Humbled

Tonight I was reminded of a conversation I had on the phone with Nathan Smith (the founder of Love Africa) when discussing this position on Core Team. We had had a long talk and I just got to the point where all I could say was, “Nathan, I’m just so humbled by this opportunity. First off, y’all realize that I have never been to Kenya before, right?!?”. We talked and chuckled a little, and then I told him that I was at a point in my life where I have never felt so small. Not in the insecure in my identity sense like I struggled with when I was younger, but in the sense that I really do not have anything to give of my own strength. My role as an RA, as a friend, as a human really had led me to this point where I was humbled because I can try all I want to do things on my own, but I won’t get far. But in the midst of feeling so small, the Lord has never felt so big. I realized it was only through him and by him I can do anything.

I came to Kenya with hands empty. And being here, I see such deep and wide need and I want to fix it all but just can’t. Yet it is in this that I have to surrender that to the Lord and trust that though I have very little to give, he is much greater. I am confident that the Lord has brought me here for this season and I wait in excited expectations to the God who can do incredibly more then we can ever ask or imagine.

Tonight I was at a worship night at RVA and we came to the words,

In my life be lifted high

In our world be lifted high

In our love be lifted high

and I sing that as my prayer. That through, in and around all that we do we can bring glory and honor to Him who has allowed us to be here.

Rift Valley Academy

So one thing that I was really looking forward to before coming to Kenya was RVA. RVA, if I have not mentioned before, is a boarding school for kids of missionaries who work all over Africa and the Middle East. Since being in college and having some time to step away from my own mission field life I have thought a lot about MK’s and really feel a tug to invest in them. I really have enjoyed my time at RVA. It has been slow going at making friends there, but I so understand because I remember how many visitors came in and out just like that. We have joined them at chai (tea) breaks and walked around their campus, but on Tuesday evening we were able to join different dorms for their dorm meeting. I was able to share a bit of my story with them and from that evening I made some friends with the sophomore girls. Last night, the few of us not on safari went to a movie night they were having and it was lots of fun (can I get a shout out for popcorn!). I plan to visit them this weekend and hangout with them some more and we have talked about going to their church this weekend while we don’t have a team. My hope is to really invest in them and find ways I can encourage the kids at RVA. It is relationships like this that I am glad I have the opportunity to stay all summer instead of just a few short days.

But I have really been thinking the past couple days about being here in Kijabe and all the ways it feels so much like my PNG home. Today I just felt so grateful that the Lord allowed me to leave the US this summer because I think being in the States has been so good and growing and a needed step back. However, being away has allowed me to remember where I came from, and grow/be challenged in new ways. It feels so natural to be here that at times I stop and think, “wow, like I really am in Kenya right now”. I remember hearing about Kenya when I was little and I felt like all the missionaries went there. Of all the African counties it was the one that intrigued me, and all these years later I find myself here.

Back to RVA- it is so fun to see how this school does things and to walk down memory lane, however it also is bittersweet at nostalgia sets in. I crave my high school days and hanging with my MK friends after classes. I miss traditions and sports tournaments and Soul Purpose (our youth group). We joined the kids on Sunday night for Sunday Night Live (SNL) and the songs we sang were some I have not heard since Soul Purpose. My heart was almost undone worshiping in that setting with kids that I could identify with so well. At dorm meeting the other night I watched some faces of girls as they found out that their friend was leaving for furlough for a year, and my heart broke with theirs as I remember many a times of hearing the same news and being so sad. These are my people, and just because we grew up different countries we carry so many of the same burdens and joys. Some of them don’t even know the impact that being an MK means and most don’t know what is in front of them as they will one day have to leave. I thank the Lord for being my peace in such a hard transition and I feel that I have done a pretty good job moving back to the US. It is not always easy but I trust God in every season and every place, and that is my prayer for these kids.

Moihungari

One thing I have learned since being in Kenya is just the depth of corruption in their government. A girl on our team asked us the other day if we could be praying one big thing to God over Kenya, what would it be? Well of course my heart is with the orphans but I said to pray that the Lord would raise up Godly politicians. One way that we since the direct and heart breaking impact of this corruption is in the Inner Displaced Persons (IDP) camp. It is a long story, but pretty much in 2007 there was a large election that fueled a huge fight between two different tribes, resulting in people having to flee their homes that were being burnt and their families that were being killed. They were brought to this place and given tents, yet 8 years later, the tarps that were supposed to be a temporary fix are still what people sleep under every night. These people are the outcasts who have had to leave their homes, food is scarce and water that is drinkable is hard to find. It is a hard situation but they are slowly making steps forward. The first thing they built though was a church because they just wanted a place to worship the Lord. Before they had to walk so far and even there they were seen as outcasts and strangers. They love their church and are so proud of it. Next they slowly but surely have been building better houses. Even since we have been here they have had people help build 2 more small tin homes that provide more protection and better living. There are only 4 more families that are living in tents (out of 23 families) and my hope is that there will be no more tents by the time we leave this summer, whether that be our doing or someone else’s. We were talking to a woman named Grace Thursday when we visited and she is one of their chairmen. She is another one of those women that has incredible faith in the Lord as she has to depend on him daily to provide and protect her family and community. She was talking about the houses that were built and what a blessing they were and how each addition is an incredible gift from God. This astounds me because having a home is something everyone deserves but they see is as something they are blessed by. She also told us that this man Sammy, happy little only man who doesn’t speak much English, is pretty much the head chairman (like the president of the community) but what came next took us all back: Sammy is part of one of the families that lives in a tent still. Grace said, there are many chairman who would make their house first because they are in charge and they feel so worthy and entitled, but Sammy was humble enough to say, not until all my people live in a house will I.  

There is a need, obviously for the rest of the houses, but I am confident they will come. The bigger need that is crippling this community is their lack of water. Even with all the rain they have gotten they have no water for many reasons. They have to daily cart in water from far away. Jack (our leader) has it pressed so deeply on his heart to bring these people water. Enough that even in the dry season they will not go thirsty and even enough that they could sell the water to others to make a small income. We are looking into a pipeline from the mountains that would go into a cistern. It is hard because everywhere we go they present us with their needs because they know that American’s “have money” and as much as we want to fix everything we just cannot. One small thing we were able to do Thursday was that there is a girl that gathered backpacks, water bottles and shoes to give out and this team brought these over with them. Thursday we filled the back of the car and took them to Moihungari. The children were not back from school yet but Grace expressed how happy they would be. The woman sang a song of thanks and praise in their language. Well then in rolled the children and I was blessed to be with them as they walked in the church. Their faces when they saw the box full of shoes is a moment I hope never to forget. Sheer excitement and disbelief. Literally the cutest as they jumped and danced and yelled. Their little voices yelling thank yous, and I was undone. And I saw the tattered, broken shoes they had on their feet and was so happy we could bring more. We started to pass out backpacks and they instantly put them on and walked with their heads held as high as possible. This was the last thing we did, as far as ministry, with this team and it was just sheer joy. Something so small yet so big.